Failure and motivation are 2 items very close together. Usually one eventually comes with the other, but not always in the right order. As an example, I am a highly motivated person, but I experience a lot of failure. I experience the failures because I am motivated. Every failure kind of motivates me to get up and try again. Why? Because I have a goal I want to reach and I am not letting failure come between me and my goal.
How come that failure actually can turn into motivation? Should it not be that you need motivation after you fail? It totally depends on each person and how that person recognizes failure. One person might see failure as a personal obstacle, as something really embarrassing and the only way out of that hole is by motivating that person to forget about failure. We always assume that a failure of ours is looked down at by others and accordingly we feel embarrassed.
But failure is not embarrassing and the best way to accept it is to look at babies and how they handle failure. When a baby starts learning to walk failure is inevitable. The first steps are the hardest and more than once baby will fall down. But that’s where you notice something really interesting. The baby usually does not cry. She will look for something to hold on to and then pull herself up and try again. This process repeats itself over and over again, but with every successful step the baby becomes more self-confident and more motivated to try again. Somewhere along the way to adulthood most people lose this important skill. Often the idea of failure and embarrassment is injected into us by our parents. They are trying to prevent us from experiencing failure, they want to protect us – which is just a natural instinct we all have. But we need to experience failure and we need to be able to work our self out of the hole and to get up again – without the help from others.
So, what is motivation?
Motivation can be anything if you look at it from the right angle. A treat can be motivation as well as money. But these 2 do not really work well after failure. In my opinion these 2 work much better to do something before failure happens (and this is just an example). After failure words are often used as the biggest piece to motivate the one who “failed”. A hug, a kiss, touching somebody’s arm or shoulder – it’s soothing and motivating (to a certain degree). It provides a moment where we feel protected, where somebody understands what we are going through. But it is not that kind of motivation you should really experience.
I can be pretty mean when something “bad” happens to someone and I sometimes make a comment that makes its way into the wrong area. I was raised in a pretty strict house. Very strict rules, a not very understanding father and a few times too often I became target of violence. In the beginning (as a child) I cried and looked for help. But after a certain point my attitude changed and after being once I got up and “offered the other cheek” as well. I’ve seen some stuff kids should not see or experience and if you feel petty and expect me to understand, I want rather you to understand that your definition of failure is nothing really. I’d rather make a comment that makes you angry, because anger can be a very motivating way to try something again and again. Yes, in that moment you might feel hurt, but a hug or a kiss and some friendly words will not get you where want to be or need to be. This is just an example of how motivation can work. Of course I try to be considerate and not every situation is treated that way.
In general the first thing I tell people is to stop feeling for them self. Once they are past that point and a clear conscious has returned, it is much easier to analyze and to try again. This does not always work and some people were raised to embrace failure and they need the pity and sympathy of others. It’s like an addiction and we all know how hard it is to break an addiction.
Chris Puetz is an experienced entrepreneur working on the Internet since 2002. He operates several websites, including the Health Portal Online website where he presents health related articles about many different topics. Several authors have written about topics diet and weight loss, Yeastrol reviews, or generic health and fitness topics.
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i lose motivation from failure
I am sorry to hear that. The reality is that we all make failures. What is even more tragic is the fact that we do not learn from our failures. People tend to repeat the same mistakes that have lead them fail over and over again. The wisdom of learning from our failures is therefore very important. Never lose motivation and don't waste any time. Stand up immediately and make another step, this time in the righ direction, and pave your way to success in your life.
Sometimes it can be really hard to stand up and walk straight after a failure. But the important thing is to be persistent and never give up. Thanks for the nice post.
Thanks Tom for your two cents. I appreciate it.
jeffrey behrick says:
I believe that aggression and anger develop people better than hugs and kisses.
When you look at a military "a well oiled machine always moving forward" for motivation they were verbally or physically abused through tough training for weeks on end.
For an ex military man as myself every job or endevour I attempted after the military was boring, iI didnt have motivation because when I failed someone was there to say aww its ok we all make mistakes...
To me that is the ultimate form of covering up our feelings to make us think everyone is the same. Well we are not, we arent made the same and if someone shouts and tells me I have F*#ked up then I will try harder to avoid that again.
Falling down is inevitable as you said but each day you fall down I think you need tough love, you need to be reminded a few times that that mistake cost you money, or time, or klout!
Everyone is not born leaders, not everybody can be trained to be better at everything they do. We can assume most people like positive reinforcment but even as a child all that was to me was a buttered up truth to make me feel better. that didnt do much for me at all.
Glad I moved out when I was young and glad I joined the service. Currently I own two businesses and am starting a third in the middle east. im 31 years old and my goal is entrepeneurship. my goal is riddled with possibilities of failure and demise, but to me that is just something to show everyone else that it is possible to think outside of where we were raised or believe.
Grow at your own pace, and dont look back.. I was told by my grandfather when I was young in regards to me making an enemy over a small problem.. he said Jeff Burn every bridge you make along life because you have nowhere to go but forwards.
I used to not agree with him but slowly and surely over my short lifespan I totally agree. If you always fail and look behind you for a pickmeup or a hand from a past coworker or boss you will always be destined to get help from failure, when really you should be finding new routes from failure, fix your problems yourself because noone else will do what you want and they will again leave you dissapointed as you made yourself from that failure.
Forward thoughts bring you forward!
Thanks Jeffrey, I really appreciate your views on the subject.