Guest Articles >> Personal Development
Are you really good at losing friends and alienating people, and you want that to change? Or do you just want keep people in your life who are there already? Lately I’ve been noticing that a number of people are really good at pushing other people out of their lives – whether they want to or not, and following are the top reasons why those people just can’t seem to keep people around them.
They Act Like a Victim
Victims tend to whine, complain, and make it all about them. Who wants to be around that for a long period of time? I’m not talking about an actually victim who has been hurt – I’m talking about someone who feels the world is out to get them and instead of being upfront, honest, and taking action in life, they choose to act like wounded animals most of their days.
Most people do not want to sit around and listen to someone whine all the time and feel sorry for themselves. The only way to stop being a victim is to start taking ownership of your life and start going after the life you want. Victims have to realize that they are in control of their life, because it’s their life, and they have the choice to make it really good or really bad.
They Are Selfish
I had a friend once whose favorite words were I, me, and mine – she didn’t say too much else besides those three words. She didn’t realize how selfish she really was and she could barely keep people in her life for longer than a few months.
Selfish people don’t tend to notice their selfishness because they are too busy focused on themselves! They think they world revolves around them and their interests, problems, and desires. They are not good friends because they don’t offer support or an understanding ear to anyone – instead they expect that kind of treatment from everyone else. Nobody can put up with a selfish person for too long, and they have a hard time keeping people in their lives because of this.
They Are Bullies
Mean spirited people are the ones that make you feel bad, give you dirty looks, try to put you down, try to intimidate you, or try to embarrass you. They are the people who feel better by hurting others. They are the people who have the hardest time keeping people around because they have the hardest time getting people into their life in the first place. For a bully to be happy someone else has to be sad, and even then bullies are not really happy. Bullies often only have a few close friends, and they are normally bullies as well.
They Blame Everyone but Themselves
Pointing the finger at everyone but yourself is really easy to do, and everyone does it once in a while, but it’s the people that do it all the time (and in a big way) that have a hard time keeping people around. They are quick to blame whoever is closest to them instead of owning up to their own mistakes. They are backstabbers and cause problems for the people around them, and this can get other people in trouble that they shouldn’t be in trouble or cause people to dislike them quickly.
They are Negative
People who are negative are quick to point out the bad in every situation and find faults when there are really no faults to find! Nothing ever goes right for negative people because they never see the good in life. They only see the bad.
Nothing makes negative people happy. If it rains – they complain. If it’s sunny – they complain. They find an excuse to be negative about everything. They can’t keep people around them because nobody can stand them and their doomsday viewpoint.
So if you want to keep people in your life then avoid becoming one of the above personality types. Be happy, be positive, be altruistic, and be kind. If you are the exact opposite of the above personality types then you will have another problem – you will have a hard time keeping people out of your life!
Kari is the owner of Manifest Connection, a blog focusing on the personal growth of the mind, body, and soul.
The above guest post is published based on the premise that it will be helpful and informative. The opinions made within it are those of the author and not of sunnyray.org. The links you may find within this post do not necessarily imply our recommendation or endorsement of the views expressed within them.
If you want to keep someone in your life for a really long, long time, give him or her freedom. There's no other way. If they love you they will stay. If they don't love you, you don't wanna keep them close anyway.
I like Ber's attitude. I have witness so many times in my life how impossible it is to force the love of other people. I have also come to realize that we usually have one or two good friends in life, including your spouse or long-term partner in that number. All we can do is treat them with respect and with love and hope that that love will be reciprocated.
Don't bother about people not worth keeping. Here is a quote I like: "Keep people in your life who truly love you, motivate you, encourage you, enhance you, and make you happy. If you know people who do none of these things, let them go." Source
there is only one reason to keep people in your life ... love. if there is no love, it is not worth it.