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Three Secrets to Obtaining Lasting Happiness

Nicole Spencer

It seems like nothing these days is more elusive than true happiness. Everybody seems to be on an aimless quest to acquire more while deriving very little satisfaction from any of it. What is the secret to true happiness and how can we obtain it in our own lives?

Weak, dysfunctional relationships are at the root of much of our unhappiness. We have ex-partners that we never speak to any more, parents that we see as little as possible and friends that we see as enemies. Even surrounded by our spouses and children many of us feel completely alone and wish that somebody, anybody loved us for who we really are.

Lasting happiness comes from having strong, healthy relationships where we feel valued and cherished. Without these relationships, our lives feel like they are without significance and the lack of connections leaves us unable to truly enjoy life and feel accepted.

If you feel this lack of healthy relationships in your own life, here are three steps to strengthen the bonds between yourself and the ones you love.

Open and Honest Communication

Healthy relationships are built on open, honest communication. Some people are afraid to speak up, terrified that they might offend somebody or be misunderstood while their polar opposites say whatever is on their mind, whenever they please, consequences be damned. Neither is healthy or conducive to forming strong relationships.

There are ways of telling the truth about how you are feeling that are respectful and kind. Loving honesty is the way to communicate with others and let them know you care about their feelings while at the same time maintaining healthy boundaries.

Real Intimacy and Forgiveness

True emotional intimacy is a cornerstone of healthy, close relationships. There are other forms of intimacy, for example romantic partners share physical intimacy, but all healthy relationships require an appropriate degree of emotional closeness to be successful.

Being able to forgive and be forgiven is a hallmark of a truly intimate relationship. Without these things, we can never consider ourselves really close to another.

When you become close to another person there is always the risk that feelings will be hurt as the guards are dropped and true feelings come out. How you handle these hurts will be critical in determining the success of the relationship and avoiding them shuts out the possibility of true intimacy.

Be quick to apologize and ask for forgiveness and be generous with your forgiveness.  Relationships that have gone through the process of forgiveness grow in strength and trust.

Show Respect

Show respect for others, even those that are only peripheral at best in your life. Remember that every person that you encounter is a unique individual and should be treated with the respect that all of humanity deserves. Even those that you disagree with and who actively wish to harm you are deserving of at least a certain level of respect.

A life full of respect for others helps you nurture and maintain connections and helps build healthy self-respect, too.

Be open to loving, honest communication. Foster real intimacy in your relationships.  Give yourself permission to forgive and be forgiven. Show respect to everyone who deserves it – including your own self. These steps will lead the way to build healthier relationships and fill your life with happiness and contentment.

About the Author

Nicole Spencer is an experienced ghostwriter with the Ghostwriter Dad team and also works at Potty Training Power, writing articles and advising parents about potty training their children. You can follow her on Twitter to catch up with her latest posts.


The above guest post is published based on the premise that it will be helpful and informative. The opinions made within it are those of the author and not of The links you may find within this post do not necessarily imply our recommendation or endorsement of the views expressed within them.


Pati says:

Obtaining happiness is what we all strive to do. One thing that I believe is very important in this respect is to push yourself, not other people. You are the only one responsible for your well-being, not others. In fact, even if it doesn't seem so at first sight, you are solely and absolutely accountable for what's going on in your life. If you can only realize that and if you can stop blaming other people and circumstances for everything and anything, your path toward lasting happiness will be much shorter. Thanks!

ryan says:

I've come to realize that a couple of things are important: a) never compare yourself to other people. If you do, you are screwed. There are always people with more money, better careers, more popular, more lovable, more successful, you name it; b) be less self-centered. Do altruistic things, do them just for the sake of doing.

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