Guest Articles >> Personal Development
Does depression affect one’s marriage? Why not? If depression can affect your sleep, your thinking capabilities, your social interactions, your moods and your ability to cope, why not your marriage? Depression is a real relationship killer. Here are some of the ways depression affects your marriage.
If you’re depressed, you’ll experience less satisfaction out of your marriage. You will be less happy, less content and less capable of being there for your partner. Your partner will feel increasingly isolated and experience the loss of physical and emotional intimacy.
When you’re depressed, you tend to view the world via a dark veil that limits your perspective. You will perceive most events negatively, even neutral ones. Depression also makes you take a cynical, disinterested look at positive events; even if you try to be positive, you won’t have the energy to follow through.
In the male, depression can manifest into impotency and a reduced sexual drive. In the woman, it can be lack of sexual desire. Depressed men and women can conclude that lack of sexual desire equals to lack of love for their partner, which kills the marriage. It’s important for both partners to feel attracted to each other and have an active sex life. A depressed spouse stops taking care of himself or herself, which makes their partner lose interest in them sexually as well.
When you’re depressed, it’s quite normal to feel detached from everything, as though you’re watching your live being played out on a screen. You’ll feel separate and isolated and will try to avoid social contact.
The sadness, dejection, resignation and hopelessness that depression brings can cause extreme mood swings. At one moment, you might feel irritated and angry. After some time, you’ll feel emotionally numb. These mood swings will make it hard for your family to understand you and continue to support you.
You may not respond with sensitivity to your family’s needs and feelings. Your depression can cause you to feel so detached that your family starts believing that you don’t care and you don’t love them anymore.
Your partner may not understand that you’re depressed. Instead, he or she may think you’re being lazy and uncooperative and blame you for leaving all the tasks up to him or her. Soon, the blame gives way to shaming you to perform better, which doesn’t work as it only gets you more depressed. Slowly, resentments, anger and helplessness grow within the relationship.
Nothing your partner does will please you, even if you notice that your partner is trying. It’s almost as though you’ve ceased to care when you’re depressed. Such a prevalence of negativity in your marriage is bound to leave your partner and your family feeling unloved and unappreciated. Your children will spend lesser time with you; they might perceive that you don’t care for them anymore. Your partner will feel tired at having to shoulder additional burden since you’re not ‘pulling yourself’ up, and might resent you for that. Overall, the family’s happiness and contentment quotient goes down because of your depression.
When one partner is depressed, the other can also feel depressed due to the negative energy in the relationship. In this sense, depression is as contagious as a flu virus. Your depression can slowly make its way into the way your partner perceives things, and color his or her mood, attitude, communication, reaction and behavior. This leads to both of you sinking into a joint despair.
Marriage is also about cooperating and coordinating with your spouse to run your lives. A depressed partner loses interest in most things, including the things that used to bring him or her joy. There’s also the constant fatigue, listlessness, lack of sleep or perpetual sleepiness that’ll make you uncooperative and unresponsive.
Kathy is freelance writer and writes about specialty products like wall clock, etagere, cheval mirror, nesting doll and lot more.
The above guest post is published based on the premise that it will be helpful and informative. The opinions made within it are those of the author and not of sunnyray.org. The links you may find within this post do not necessarily imply our recommendation or endorsement of the views expressed within them.
shane baranec says:
I suffer from bi-polar disorder and clinical depression I lost my marriage because of it and feel confused in this life what next?
I am very sorry to hear about all that. I would have said meditation could be one of the methods to get out of depression, but given the gravity of your situation, this might not be enough. I suggest that you try to find some serious spiritual workshops, such as 7 or 14 days "Enlightenment Intensives", close to where you live. If you can make it through the whole, very intense exercise, these workshops can really help people face their problems from the very core of their being, can bring transformation and can offer a way out of depression.
Hi, can you help me? I'm at my lowest point in a long long time. I was diagnosed as being Clinically Depressed two years ago after walking into a hospital seeking help. Just minutes before, I was preparing my own death by connecting a hose to my car miles from anywhere. Thankfully, I thought of my Wife, Son and my elderly parents which was enough to stop me & willing me to carry on. However, things really aren't much better as I've now lost my Job/s and now my Wife and I sleep in separate rooms and just don't talk. It's killing me in every way possible. She just wants me to leave and says she no longer loves me. We haven't been intimate for nearly two years but it's not me who's unwilling. Even so, I genuinely think my wife's treatment of me may have increased, if not caused my problems in the first place. I constantly have feelings of wanting to end my life. I am sometimes overwhelmed by uncontrollable anxiety, stress & deep depression. It's hard to believe I used to think people with depression just needed a kick up the backside and nothing more. Well, I know different these days.
The sea is full of fishes. Sometimes, the things cannot be forced and should be accepted as they are. That means moving on, having patience and faith, as life always offers new opportunities.
Hi. Most of the time I feel down. I try to avoid seeing a physician as i believe they cannot really help. I have tried healthy eating and regular exercising. While it does help my depression a bit, I still can't see real progress. Can you help?
I'm sorry to hear about your current condition. Why skipping doctor visits? I would seek professional help and decide whether to follow the advice afterwards. Other than that, I believe meditation can help. Have you tried with meditation? It can really help you challenge any negative thoughts you might have. And it is all natural. I know it is easy to give advice, but very hard to listen to it and even harder to follow it. Nevertheless, I hope this helps you a bit. Best regards, and God bless.
As far as depression in man is concerned, there are many factors, private and social that affect it. Eating and exercise can help, but stress is a huge factor: stress at work or at home, stress due to relationship problems, stress of not reaching goals, money problems, changing jobs. Not to mention health issues. So here's what I suggest. It works, but it may be hard to get into the habit of doing it. Identify the things you have are that you are happy with in your life and stick to them, all they long. If your thoughts say: "I'm not reaching my goals, I should be concerned", find what you already have and be content with it, like "I have a roof over my head, that's great, or I have a lovely wife, I'm indeed very happy." By shifting your attention to what you have, rather than what you don't have, you're bringing a positive momentum into your life.
dennis stanton says:
could depression leave your family
Could you elaborate a bit more about what you mean by "leave your family"?