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Letting Go of Past: Why Is It Hard and What Can We Learn from It

By Isabell Gaylord

All the experiences and events we go through teach us something valuable. They come with lessons, emotions, and feelings we need to be aware of. And some of them come with pain.

Pain is one of the basic feelings someone can live, and it comes with experiences that are hard to forget. Pain defines our past experiences, it defines who we are today, and it helps us move forward. But when there is too much pain, it adds up and, in the end, it prevents us from living and enjoying life at its fullest.

Not being able to let go of the past means that you anchor yourself in living all over again your hurtful past experiences. You ruminate on them, think about what could have gone better or wrong, and how all those experiences impacted you. And this anchor in the past comes with loneliness, solitude, and more negative than positive experiences. And this is because you cannot let go of the past.

letting go of the past

The past defines us and letting go does not mean forgetting or completely ignoring it. You cannot simply erase your past feelings, emotions, and experiences because they made you who you are today. The past comes with valuable lessons you must become aware of, but it also comes with obstacles that prevent you from living a free life.

Letting go of the past is difficult and challenging. Not doing this gives you the false feeling that you can still do something to change it, but all you can do is live in the present and prepare your future. But the actual process of letting go comes with helpful lessons too, teachings that can help you live a better life.

So, why is it so hard to let go of the past and what can we learn from it?

Accept the Things You Cannot Change

One of the main sources of pain and conflicts inside us is the wrong assumption that you can still do something to change what has happened. But this is wrong, as what happened in the past, remains in the past. You have no power over what has happened, only over the present and the future.

Many people spend their days thinking about different scenarios that would have worked out if they did one little different thing. But while analyzing the past helps us find the teachings we need to plan our future, it also comes with the bitter feeling and emotion that what we did was not enough. It comes with the feeling that we could have done more to make things better. And we ruminate continuously and just point at the source of our pain.

Letting go of the past is hard to be done. But it starts with one simple step: accepting the things you cannot change and focusing on the ones you can change. This means that you should take a look at your past to understand what it has taught you, not to focus on your mistakes. Also, focus on yourself, not on the others. You have power over your perspective, behavior, feelings, but not over others' feelings and way of living. Accept the things you cannot change and focus on the ones you can change.

Focus on the Present

One of the most useful advice therapists give to their clients is to focus on the present. The present is the one you can change, and by doing this you impact your future. But the past? The past has already happened and nothing can be changed about it. Only your perception of your past, your experiences, feelings, and emotions can be changed, but the actual actions, behaviors, and events cannot be changed.

According to Jane’s Holand recent reviews on AssignmentHolic, you focus on the present. It helps you enjoy your life more and it also makes you forget about the action of ruminating on past experiences. Appreciate the times you are living, and if you want to make something different, think ahead, and then do it.

When you are used to focusing on the past, you might find it challenging to take a look at the present and enjoy it. Practicing mindfulness is an activity that can help you become more aware of your present emotions, feelings, and thoughts. It helps you find your inner peace and come to realize that the present moment is all you have and you would better take advantage of it.


One of the things that keep us connected to the past is the difficulty to forgive. Not knowing to forgive and not being able to do this leaves you prey to the past. And it mostly keeps you connected to unpleasant events and feelings that still impact your mood, wellbeing, and who you are today. Forgiveness is the ability to let go. To let go of negative emotions, of resentment, of guilt, of pain, of anger.

Forgiveness can be directed towards your own person, but towards others too. It helps you accept you for who you are and understand that every one of us has his bad and good parts. Forgiveness helps and teaches you how to live in the present and to accept the past without trying to change it, according to dissertation service uk.


The past made us who we are today and letting it go does not mean completely forgetting it. This process is the most challenging, painful, and difficult because the past is an important part of your life. Accepting the things you cannot change, forgiving yourself and others, and focusing on the present are some of the things you can do to let go, slowly, of the past.

At the same time, you should focus on the things it has taught you, apply those lessons in the present to change the future. Be mindful of your behavior and thoughts and accept yourself as who you are and appreciate yourself for what you have become.

The past will always be there. It is important your perspective on it and your approach towards it. Soak in the valuable lessons it taught you and keep in mind that now, only the present matters.

About the Author

author Isabell Gaylord is a professional content writer and journalist. She also offers professional writing services on various writing services online. She has spent many years offering custom essay helpand will occasionally offer online assignment help upon request. She’s interested in spirituality and psychology.


The above guest post is published based on the premise that it will be helpful and informative. The opinions made within it are those of the author and not of The links you may find within this post do not necessarily imply our recommendation or endorsement of the views expressed within them.


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